" she said."I thought you meant to stay!" he said."No, just to bring blokes back," she suggested."How much do you charge?" he asked."Fifty for straight, and." she offered."Tenner, and fish and chips?" he offered, "Stick your clothes in the tumble drier?" You're on you smooth talking bastard!" she smiled showing a row of fillings in her rotten nicotine stained teeth."Stick your stuff in there," Robert pointed to the Tumble drier, and wished he had saved some of Susie's stuff, "What's you name?" Dawn, they say I fucks till dawn," she laughed, "Well you have to with a habit like mine."Dawn stripped off and put her jacket tee shirt skirt and underwear in the drier and turned it on."Where's me fish and chips?" she asked."Oh, its a frozen ready meal," he said, "In the fridge," Yuck," Dawn exclaimed, as she looked in the fridge, "This looks better, Roast beef meal for three," she said, "That'll do me." and she pulled the packet out and went to microwave it."Fuck first!" Robert said."Pay. And he likes me. The thought is dizzying.I run my fingertip along the edge of a ridge in the glossy white bedroom doorframe and examine it for dust that I know doesn’t exist. Clean. Everything aches with a kind of fake cleanliness. Clean clothes on clean bodies and yet everything beneath is speaking a different language. We haven’t even kissed. I’ve thought about it of course. Endlessly. Nights feel longer than they are. Fantasies fading into dreams and dreams feeling so visceral, it’s a tragedy to wake.I’ve wanted guys before of course. Fleeting crushes. But this? It’s so much more. Intense and almost desperate. I don’t know what I’d do if he didn’t want me but then, maybe the knowledge that he wants me is what makes it all the more obsessive. I look up at framed photos of Blake on the wall. There’s a small oak trophy cabinet too. I’m so focused on trying to make out the inscriptions on the awards inside that I don’t hear him come into the pool house, let alone the room, until he’s.
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